Epic post is epic

I do miss this feeling of attraction and it is you. After i dealt with internal affairs i realize i still have a loss of appetite and daydream whenever i think of you. I lack sleep wondering why shit happens and my sisters and my closest friends just say thomas?! caught up?! aha but its true. *shrugs* dont fucking push me away cause i will go away! :[ i dont play games and now i semi regret it cause something tells me you know exactly what youre doing. Im using a lot of pro nouns i know Im talking about theresa. goddamnit. its one of those moments where i just rub my forhead and shake my head cause im handcuffed. she told me four times to back off..i think thats safe to say shes not interested now shes ignoring me! blah! whatever..fucking girls. But for some reason i still have hope. haha i do miss this feeling..last time was uh...selin 3 years ago...lol. Since i rarely like girls and find the weirdest ones attractive th journey from point a to b is always bumpy eh..phew now thats off my head

Ive been really hungover my sisters criticism, she said, "before you woo a girl you have to be their closest friend first, why cant you talk to every girl like you do with lauren or monica?" and i think HUMM cause unlike girls like lauren and monica i cant go up to the girls on campus and say "btw i miss you and your legs look amazing today." LOL im very upfront and if i have to hold a little back then i dont know what i CAN put out there so conversation=FAILS. but i feel like her advice can lead to some great epiphany in due time and i have this hutch it contains a truth im overlooking, document that shit.

Pool. i kick assss im reaching the level where i Know what im doing. THANK YOUUU mental truama. Since pool skill is like a muscle you work it until it gets stretched then you sit and fail for a bit due to overworking it but then watch it grow! i cleared 13 balls in one turn perfect positioning lol. i got my friend to instant rage quit even though i was teaching him haha and yes! that means i am that much closer to teaching people! my positioning is better than my accuracy though so if anything flakes, itll be my shooting...i know im far from being able to teach that but still yay me haha

speaking of friends. Ive been thinking ever since the last post. Since i wrote it it made a more profound statement in my head...entj... E stands for entroverted...why am i considered extroverted? Then i realized it today when i was hanging out with chris. Btw chris is back to normal..or im back to normal which means chris is lol and i realizzed chris is very extroverted. Extroverted people mean that their thoughts and mood and ideas come from reflecting off another persons thoughts and mood and ideas. Introverted means you are the voice that brings out an extroverted persons full character if bonded correctly. and the extroverted compliments the introverted by giving the introverted more ideas. Okay difference is: extroverted think and notice alot but cant word it as well so they rely on the introverted, the people that know themselves and able to speak their mind. i wouldnt say extroverted are in any which way dependant or a downgrade from that of an introverted... introverted just think with their mouth and extroverted think to themselves, its the opposite of what i thought it was. This made sense to me when i met up with chris tonight and when i came in me, he was playing portal 2 and i was enjoying watching him. but when vitalis came in he turned off the tv and it was just as interesting and fun. I was actually really surprised at how well i related to the conversation and the polar opposite situations made it easy to debunk this puzzle in the back of my head. Vitalis, as you can assume is very introverted. I hope im defining these words right and not just redefining them due to a single case senerio, but it makes sense. Anywho i found this sociological study absolutely fascinating. Doug, even though he is an entj he can also be very introverted which is why im so comfortable with him. :OOO aka i need to meet more introverted people to be happy! YAY haha not saying chris doesnt make me happy lol he is the strangest character ive ever met. Only extroverted characters have the potential become stranger than any introverted cause they need to adapot to any type of environment in order to bounce their ideas off lol. OMG i feel like i should take a psych exam right now :3 hahah

I still notice that alot of time i drift out of conversations and daydream though...i cant conversate with only two people yet and i cant stay involved when theres more.. ehh..its a working progress.

Speaking of friends...kanji...what to do with you? everyone is back to normal except you. You strange little thing im still feelings awkwardness from you...why? Then i remembered the term "fake" lol good ol highschool term. everytime he hangs out with me he keeps complimenting me on how nice i am..enough to make it obvious and i usually take that as a compliment but from him i feel like hes saying it like, "why the fuck are you always so nice to me even though i hate you?" I bought some redbull for him once and i didnt sign and just walked away and hes like, "Thanks buddy, you dont have to sign? and then he started to mumble and he said something li9ke you should watch your debit card cause someone can easily just take it and...something but i think he said...) use all your money if youre so nice" Im like....only someone with that intent would think that...and i assume that if im constantly nice then i would get the same respect back. Idk kanji man i got my eye on you. Youre a cool dude but i dont trust you...dont become a ben and turn all my friends against me. Hes been looking for me just to bum cigs these days too..wtf bro?

Anywho what else is going on? project longboard is on its way...freakin bought new trucks and transparent griptape so i can show off my board lol i need wheels though! GRR and i have bearings.

Im starting to hit the gym again. Kinda sad cause instead of my pecs(manboobs) growing after insane chest workout it shrunk >:[ fucking beech. now its just solid flat muscle lol. NEEEDS MORE FAT KTHXBYE