Upper body

I just needed a productive gym day to get my shit in check. haha I feel great but my body feels like rubber haha. I went to the gym today with Kevin. He finally agrees to go to the gym with me because he sees progress and can tell im serious. Im glad i have a trainer right now so im taking notes of his workout plan lol. Upper body. i found out my max today was 100 in benching haha. My god i almost popped a blood vessel 5 reps 5 sets. then we moved to dumbbells and i benched 10 reps then moved to 30s and got to 5 and collapsed i was suppose to do ten reps of dumbbell benches for 25's then 30's then 35's haha that clearly failed so in turn i had to do 40 push ups somewhere inbetween our workouts cause Kevin wasnt satisfied with my performance. After the dumbbell benches we did deadlifts and i was able to lift umm...max for 5 reps was 165?! holy shit. i just did the math. lol Boss :D i only weigh 133 now roughly. probably back to 131 now. The extra 2 pounds was probably the extra muscle mass right after a workout haha. I lost 8 pounds i used to be 142 and deadlift like...154. Now im lighter and pumping more. boss. lol. After deadlifts we moved to the rows and shit. those KILLED. 10 reps 5 sets and idk the weights cause i was dying but i think they were decreasing at the rate of 10 starting at 100. It was a burnout exercise haha. Aside from that i also did 2 sets of 10 reps dumbbell flies with 25s as warm up while kevin was benching. I jumped in after the warm up and started that workout i just mentioned haha. OVerall, i feel great but im going to feel like shit tomorrow...but its going to be great haha.

Cleared my mind completely cause i was only focusing on that next rep haha. I miss the gym.

LONGBOARD IN 4 DAYS!!!! OMFG. so stoked. im dropping all my shit and going longboard the day i get my wheels haha. I wish i had my s8 trucks but im going to do some nasty carving with s10s, unfortunately i wont be as fast as i usually am because of that extra pound with the wider trucks but ehh...bone red bearings should compensate haha. Mean ass gripped orangtang Stims and clear blackdiamond griptape already applied to show off my sexy board. I hope the griptape doesnt get too dirty too fast. haha.

Well aside from that i studied a shitton today. i was NOT satisfied with my actions whatsoever a day ago. I purposely skipped an exam. Absolutely pathetic. I will never ever do that again. Hopefully i can take it next week. Im goingt o study like a bitch this week. and im waiting for the response from my professor. Theresa, thanksgiving, the funeral, and well just other lame excuses honestly. Bottom line was i wasnt ready for the quiz that i shoulda known about. i slipped. bad. FUCK MY LIFE. Sigh* but the gym and studying cleared my head completely.

MAtter of fact my swag is back haha...sorta. I started talking to several past girls again that i just drifted from. Sara, Cheng, karina, Jackie, and lauren (another lauren) haha. We actually just saw each other cause im in the library and its here that we met..over many cigs and an allnighter haha. All of these girls are just ego boost though but i like that when i make my day good for myself, the universe conspires to help me further it. Like i rekindled my friendship with all these girls offically today. Im assuming ill stop talking to lauren and karina and cheng in like...a week. but still! today was definitely an ego boost haha idk I just havent been proven wrong yet, theresa. Youre fucking with my head. I guess im awkward. Id rather just put my feelings out there and see whether or not id get rejected...which did happen. But youre still texting me after i sent that awkard voicemail. so something is CLEARLY here. Why are you making it so difficult...the only reason i can think of is that you have no intentions. Thats a problem. There are way too many fishes in the sea and my heart is honestly too fragile to worry about you for much longer. Im being very patient and trying to find a place where i can just get comfortable waiting and well...i honestly have. But due to this ego boost today, i realize i honestly dont have to. haha. *shrugs*

Its not just girls either. It wasnt until i studied for several hours then went outside for a smoke break that i bumped into kevin which i then asked to gym with me. At first he denied but then realized how ridiculous it was of him to reject the offer because he hasnt been to the gym in a while himself either. haha so it worked out!

I also took my families criticism to heart. i always do, but in my own way. I bitch at them when they are criticizing me but i usually up and do what they ask and of me. If they still bitch at me about it then i tell them to stfu XD so its kinda obvious why i dont have a good relationship with my parents whatsoever. My sisters, eventually notice that i took their criticism to heart and they know i do even though i bitch when they are criticizing me but hey, idk..its the way i work...i like my space but im always open to advice. Open being a very flexible term haha. I signed up for an internship program and did some hardcore internship searching today on neu careers. I need to seriously get my future moving.

Well i need to head home and drink some protein before i suffer more than id actually enjoy tomorrow haha