lol himym

So ive realized that the himym episodes are oddly parallel to the current events in my life..ever since the new season started. I know maybe i need a bit of imagination to make it work but yeah...the moral of the episode always hits right on point haha. Like the moral of the most recent episode is girls are crazy due to girls two bros were like f this shit we can raise a baby and start a family without a female. Were bros, we can do this lolol Funny how me and big thomas had a "fuck girls, bros dont need them" conversation before. We were drunk f course lol but im just saying himym is MY LIFE hahah. ted mosby is me but some people think im barney stinson haha. anywho. That episode pretty much summed up my life! i went to the funeral day before thanksgiving and felt like utter SHIT. and for once i looked it as well. I dont like being forced to feel sad..i dont think anyone does thats why i hate funerals. My instinct is to feel happy when surrounded by sadness but in order to pay respects i had to not smile and think...sad..and..grieve. I ended that day and began thanksgiving looking and feeling worse than i ever did. Even my sisters got really worried. They said i look sooo unhealthy. but yeah..wednesday was just crap. The funeral lasted from 10 to 5pm and after i got home i just said fuck it and passed out in my suit and everything. I thought it took energy to be happy but holy shit at least faking happiness only makes your body feel better. Faking sadness actually makes you feel worse...never tried it never going to do it again and id be damned if i put anyone i know through that shit for my death. My shit is going to be fun. lol So i pass out at 5...wake up at 9....think its the next morning but it isnt so i pass out again..wake up 3 three...fml...pass out again and wake up at 12. Holy shit i had so much sleep but i still felt like shit! idk...I need someone new in my life.

Ive been texting theresa more recently..why? well its something to ease the shit in my life right now. Hey even though i barely work anymore you forget that i still need to go to school. I cant deal with this shit and have the mentality to study. I mean i feel like me and her got to that level where even though we were never together i need some closure. Ive never put more effort into a girl than i did with theresa and idk why to be honest. My sister has been helping me job hunt cause i told her about theresa. she knew she was bad news bears from the beginning somehow...i just didnt understand why lol. Girls understand each other i guess. Anywho. I never got the call from club monaco. They said call anf and quit or i wont get the job...did they really expect me to quit anf before actually getting a call saying i got the job? Sorry, i didnt like you enough to even to that much for you, recruitment bitch. LOL i honestly hated the company the minute i tried for the interview i felt the essence of the company through the interviewer and thought...UGH. what utterly disgusting people. No respect. idk. Still hunting for a job. Debating whether or not to give up anf..honestly so much has happened during these two weeks and ive only been scheduled one day a week so i dont even feel like i work there anymore...and its not like im going to be awkward around theresa..idk if shes going to be awkward around me but hey w.e. Might as well hold the job and try to find a second one...anf is getting to be a hassle to carry in my schedule though so its only a matter of time..

My sister has hooked me up with a 200 dollar a week job. its a personal business and all i have to do is pick up sunglasses at the post office and mail it to her ex in Australia theyre really highend sunglasses and her ex sells them for big bucks in Australia. Im so glad that my sister is a slut lolol. I hope this doesnt fall through though fucking i need a job...and DEFINITELY if its going to pay me 200 bucks just to run to the post office everyday once a day why the fuck not?

Thanksgiving wasnt too bad. I enjoyed it since i was socially awkward. I just sat there and ate the whole night..Ive been awfully hungry lately. Maybe due to the depression and stress. I ate 3 full plates of food in 1 sitting. well 3 and a half counting like...5 brownies some pie and other desserts lol I also up and got a beer the minute i got there cause i fucking wanted it and i didnt give a flying fuck what my relatives thought. Lol Blue moon palemoon omfg...i jizzed in my mouth beer.

What WAS really awkward about thanksgiving was the fact that my mentally challenged cousin venessa was hitting on me. Shes like..16 and she was feeling on my biceps and hopping on my back. I mean thats i gues...passable. but when she tried to hold my hand several times like...legit its like...wtF? >.>. Is this some sick shit fate is plaing with me to just shove more shit in my life? how to i react to the poor girl? Vennessa has been apparently lying to the family about this boy named chris..It made me feel so bad for her. Cause i know how it feels to be a social outcast at a young age. Honestly, but it was just so WEIRD. like omg what is going on. Why are you sitting here quietly trying to hold my hand? And it used to always be a thing that every thanksgiving her and her two brothers would tackle me and stuff then drag me upstairs and have me play with them. Not like that..really bad impression now that i said the above statemtn lololol but seriously it was really innocent humour that even i was amused with cause when i was 15 they were like...6 and 9 so i felt like i was all mr big stuff carrying around and wrestling three smaller kids haha. But now im older and so are they and yeahh just not into those games. SO awkward thanksgiving. but ive been through worse haha.

So this whole socially awkward thing...has to go...idk what is wrong with me but i need a ego boost.

Just fell asleep with laptop still open and dreamt that i was late for work got to work and saw theresa and had a good ol fun time at work like i usually do with theresa...woke up and ive only been asleep for an hour...i need a drink. lol holy shit. im literally going to make myself a greygoose and canada dry right now...f this..hahaha well after this shot im going back to bed for...30 mins...then time for work