Men

Today was rather memorable. I usually blog about hating my dad but today he was in a good mood. We bonded. I woke cause he woke up me up at noon and said, "you said you wanna help with the family but youre never home so heres your chance get up." i was complaining cause im used to 4pm but i honestly was refreshed after brushing ym teeth. I went outside to help him refurbish the family company truck. i helped him unscrew the bolts he drilled into the side of the truck. I was inside with the wrench while he was outside holding the bolts cause i was in my pjs. One thing me and my dad need to do more often is do hands on things cause me and him dont need to talk...we just work together because me and him are experienced engineers and know where each other are. I seriously love it when we work together cause i miss doing hands on stuff with peoplet hat know what theyre doing. When i needed to let him know where to move to id just knock on the inside of the truck where i was lightly and id just start screwing. Afterward we went to the dealership together and we picked up the toyota tacoma that was waiting for us. He didnt lecture me at all during the ride. Fresh ride and he just drove and we talked about unstressful stuff. I love my dad cause he has my sense of humor, serious yet allout fool haha and hes the smartest man ive ever met. Its unfortunate he honestly had to meet my mother cause it destroyed the amazing man he is. Creating a distant, short tempered, and stern man due to the daily need to take care of such a nonsensical female. He had to always have his best foot foward and take any responsibilty the minute he woke up. He got tired of it, and i understand him. Doesnt meet i dont hate him cause of the man he is now but seriously, both of us bonded through silent dad son moment. he told me to take several pictures with him before he started driving the truck to the dealership then he told me to take several pictures of him with his new tacoma. ITs a cheap car but its a chapter of his life he finally finished. No more hardwork and i saw the symbolism in it. I respect him as the man he is. You knwo i love you dad, youre a real bro though.

Unfortunately, half asleep i jammed my finger refurbishing the van and since it was cold my finger didnt just swell, my ring finger literally squirted blood against the side of the van. My skin cracked down to the fresh like a frozen grape between two fingers. Ive been wearing a paper towel brace, changed twice cause the blood went through twice. I have a very high tolerance to pain so its w/e i was just like o shit! and unscrewed the remaining bolts then ran inside cause my blood was dripping all over the van.

Ive been hanging out with thomas for the past two days and im not complaining hes a cool dude and he knows exactly where i came from. Asian that can from a hood-backround just trying to live and enjoy life at the fullest. He was actually the one that got me into smoking like.. sophmore year of highschool. I dont hate him for it haha i asked him for my first cig and i remember i coughed like a mother fucker haha.

I didnt buy my first pack until freshman year of college. What happened thomas? now you blaze through a pack in 3 days haha. Im honestly excited for no-smoking januray though. It was officially established because apparently there are alot of smokers on 9gag. They make alot of anti smoker comics now to brace smokers for non-smoking january haha. The longest ive ever been without a cig ever since freshman year was 16 days. When i dont smoke i get waves of crankiness that i need to keep in check. I would lash out very easily and then i immediately keep to myself cause i know its the cigs talking.

I like what cigarettes did though, i dont care what i did now i would never install anger into my life. This allows me to show people that i can be serious, and it shows myself that i when i want to get serious i can. For example, im so scared of drama that im seriously just...over it haha.. I woke up this morning and even texted her.I dont see the point in being so caught up anymore. I felt bad that ive said such stuff about her so i deleted it. Thats nnot me. That was trashed me typing like someone else was to blame. Life is too short for pain and hate, i would know. If anything it only slows down life just to make sure you understand how much shit there is in this world. I would know better than anyone. I hope we can still be friends, you just didnt hang out with me enough to understand me. I know you read this cause technically if you didnt then you would have responded, its finals week and i sure as hell was busy this week haha and i know if you didnt have a heads up as to whats going on in my head then you wouldnt be disturbed. See how i organized it? I mean, i didnt have much to do but ive been studying alot. I still have a final to do and i dont work but ive been job hunting and internship hunting like no other.

Eh idk, life is stabalizing again. Enjoying chainsmoking with thomas and talking to lauren. I got a ego boost today That i feel like i should grasp. I was standing on the sidewalk of forest hills smoking my first cig of the day straight enjoying it with music blaring in my ears and i could tell there were two girls behind me that were just standing there...they kept standing behind me so i looked at them. It was a white hispanic and asian from what seemed like sohpmores in college. There were two other people smoking but they made eye contact with me and said something, i took out my headphones and said im sorry what? and they were like do you have a cig i can bum? I was like sure and gave them a cig. they came over and started talking to me, asking for my name and what college i go to. We talked until my cig was done, i smoked another one with them just for the hell of it, i was flattered. Afterwards i just said it was nice to meet them and walked away. I was honestly flattered the whole day. I apparently have enough looks to attract girls to me still haha, of all races. haha Honestly the most attractive of them was the hispanic girl and she talked the most cause she was the only one that smoked but hell im flattered thanks girls for making my day haha

Ive been suit shopping as well, rather excited for the bu winter ball. Im going to be away from bfbg so its going to be weird and different for me, possibility of abosolutely hating it is probably 80% but hell, im going to be fresh as hell and drink as shit so itll be fun haha. alot of my highschool and oldtime friends are going to be there and id love to see them.

What else? Thomas and i are chain smoking in chris's basement. We had a chill night, 7 dudes 24 beers. around 4 beers each...just enjoyed the night. Hes asleep now haha I should be asleep too but ive been pulling way too many all nighters to care about sleep at this point haha.

Well, im going to sleep as well...enjoying my last beer haha stellas and hoegaarden are soo delicious. Ever since ive hung out with bfbg weve drank nothing but classy beer when we chill haha. We had a big discussion about beer actually. We put all the beer we know in 5 different tiers. It was a really bro chill night haha. Stella and hoegaarden, by our standards are in 4th tier. Classy, but cant beat dogfish haha. Ive never tasted dogfish before but apparently its 15 bucks for just a 6 pack. thats ridiculous haha. Ive tried beer from the brewery straight before though, growlers, that was when i first started liking beer. Thats why i like beer now, cause i started at tier 5 haha. and i was wondering why i didnt like bud, rolling rock or corona as much until now. Apparently i have a taste for good beer since i started with delicious beer :D haha

Well its 5:45 am good morning! im going to sleep haha cant wait for saturday. I honestly hope i see her there. Im not going to lie. I still feel like i have unfinished business so i would at least like to know were on good terms.

I bumped into giselle at prudential today actually. She was in sephora, like usual haha. I ignored her and dipped into gamestop, pretending like i was looking at games lol. Kevin was with me and was like..wtf are you doing? She was the many "almosts" that failed. She is a very nice girl, bought me a birthday cake for my 20th birthday. I didnt even get a 20th birthday cake from my family. Once she did that i knew i wanted her to be mine, this was after being interested in freshman year, loosing touch, then getting back in touch and texting every so often. A woman as nice as that deserves someone that can treat her well and i was willing to try to fit that shoe. I tried to thank her and ask her to grab a cup of coffee with her, She said she wasnt interested, like theresa, i understood but i guess i pushed too hard and she stopped responding to my text. Its unfortunate that i honestly couldnt thank her for that. Now i try to give her her space haha. Funny thing is when i stepped out of gamestop she stopped right outside, talking to her friend. luckily when i saw her i she was ahead of me but i think she saw me when i first saw her..and kevin said we were going the wrong way so we actually turned around. Therefore, i never had to past past her and say hi. haha. PHEW haha. I guess im not good with awkward moments anymore and shes apparently in a relationship now. *shrugs* Girls...cant live with them..cant live without them. Its safe to say ive gotten used to failing haha.

I havent been to the gym in a while and speaking of kevin, i he asked me to go to the gym with him tomorrow...im excited. haha I need a good beat up cause i feel like ive been slacking and going to the gym with him once would be as productive as like..2 or even three of my visits to the gym.