Today was nuts. I hit a new level of exhaustion. Mental exhaustion can always be over-rided but once there is physical exhaustion accompanying it that becomes a problem. Today was such a beautiful day but i made the wrong decision and started off the day longboarding from northeastern to fanuel hall waterfront and back. On the trip back, My legs gave up and three muscles in particular cramped up hard. Also, the skin on my feet are usually really thick and immune to injury but due to longboarding today i got a mean blister, its so bad i've been limping all day. A blister has formed on the ball of my left foot recently but it closed up after up cut off the skin. it was fine but it was still a fragile part of my foot. i got another blister on the same spot today and since there was a blister there recently it reached the flesh and has been killing me. Due to the energy i used to longboard today, the day became a blur after noon. Everyone was texting me trying to hang out and i was struggling to stay awake and limping everywhere i went, i finally gave in and passed out in curry for about an hour. I feel rejuvenated enough to further punish myself by going to the gym in a few lol. My legs are no longer sore, but they lack stamina and its hard for me to walk at even a normal pace because the muscles have been so worn out today. I feel bad cause i missed out on the potential of the day, lost in the trace of utter exhaustion.
My sleeping schedule does not exist and i feel like shit deep down cause i wasted an entire semester since i got a C- and a D, causing my Gpa to drop. The worse thing about it is that im not taking classes and just wasting my life away everyday.
I met a kinda weird/ interesting guy. his name is john aka "ramen" cause his last name is rahman. He's been meditating for 16 years and my body, due to past exposure, is apparently much more sensitive to chi when its released in a controlled way. Ive acted him to help me find what i lost. Maybe this is foreshadowing a new chapter of my life to come.
well not only is Angles the name of the strokes new album, which i am enjoying on a daily basis, but ive seen new angles to my life. Exhaustion/sleep schedule wise, academically, and introspectively. There is alot i have to work on. I've been slacking on the gym as well so nothing is solid on my life.
I've even been feeling more anti-social. I think its due to nate or idk, just how my life is right now, but i find it hard to trust people. Unlike before when it was easy for me to just say, "even though you dont show that you care or that youre honest, i know you are because you deserve that benefit of the doubt." This chance that everyone forever deserves until proven otherwise is now limited.
Well time to hit the gym lol chest pains are gone but now i have the constant feeling of a nail at my temple. eh. CYA!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
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Um.. the blister thing grossed me out.... quite a lot. haha.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've realized you need some structure to your life... good structure. My Abnormal Psych professor says people always need structure.. and since your academics are falling, I think you need to fix that. You've been give such a great opportunity to go to Northeastern yet you're putting it to waste. You have to take this opportunity and show people your potentials. It seems like you always forget your goals... maybe you should write them down some place where you'll always be reminded of them.