Mean shit

Two days ago was friday, it was the first night i slept and i think i failed a class due to the fact that i didnt pull the 6th all nighter. Its okay though cause im quite satisfied with the other classes. I was so drunk that i forgot that i was in the library when i woke up and how i got there. Dan of course over drank, so much to the point where he had four dudes hold each limb and carry him to the bathroom, he was also the main cause the party was busted...at 12:30. Fucking Dan. Im cutting him out of my life too. The party was fun though. i had 8 shots and 3 beers. I was feeling really good and all the right people were there..except dan. lol. Ive become so bitter towards people lately. Its all cause of kim and nate.

I still havent forgiven Nate and actually i get that extra push everytime i go to the gym thinking about how im going to fuck him up while the pathetic little girl is like OMG OMG HELPP next to him like a useless girl. lol. Of course i would just poke at him enough get him to the point where he realizes how inferior ive made him and his pride would lash out. Id be pumped with insanity, laughing id say thats all you got? give him a couple more slugs...then id rain hell. lol. *nods* and seeing how i acted in the last fight i was in, Its definitely possible. If i can take punch after ounch to the head and stand up rawring afterward like noones business from a 5'10 215 black guy, shouldnt be hard for a guy my height and size. lol. Im so excited.

Anywho, this is actually about my anger. This is about the bathroom. Have you ever taken a shit in a public bathroom and never felt more comfortable? Not because youre taking a shit but because of the solitude. The small confided room allows you to just drift off and think whatever you please. One may notice this better high or drunk but yeah. There is this nightmare that not until friday, did i remember after i woke up. ITs a nightmare thats haunted me for a long time now. There is a complex building, in this dream it just so happened to be uhh..northeastern and the neighborhood was raided by something..im going to just say soldiers cause they were killing on sight. I had this nightmare when i passed out in curry friday afternoon because sleeping at the library was not enough. (btw i did a final drunk and got a 82 WOOT) lol anywho. Everyone started running and i darted through the halls, friends and families by my side, in complete control everytime i have this dream. Since his dream is so fimilar to me now i scream to everyone. "FIND A BATHROOM, GET INTO A STALL AND SHUT THE FUCK UP." There were so many people screaming it sounded like i wasnt saying anything. To set an example, i ran into the bathroom. The last couple of times me and everyone i was with hijacked a car, that failed Cause it was the only local vechile in motion while everyone was getting killed..so everyone got killed and i was in the back seat and witnessed it. The last time i had this dream i was only with one other and i ran into a stall my friend slammed the stall door so the attacker heard came in and managed to rip open the door and all i heard was screams and i saw the blood trickle towards my feet. They started banging at my door and the whole cube rocked back and forth and i woke up. This time i knew...bathroom might work. But this time i had 15 people with me..for some reason my cousin amy, my sisters, and my parents were with me. I told them in chinese come o the bathroom. The halls were so packed they couldnt open the pull door and only i got in cause i ran ahead. They stared in through the tainted glass and was like OPEN THE DOOR. (they didnt know it was a pull cause it got so crowded.) I wanted to..i started to cry. I heard everyone dying. I ran into a stall and locked it and realized that the solitude was golden. They never came inside the bathroom and i stayed there for what seemed to be days. I finally opened by door and there were dead bodies everywhere. I woke up.

When i woke up, i realized that this may be caused by the anger i have towards nate. Deep down pure anger flows and it causes nightmares like these. I dont remember when i had the nightmare before this but i know i had it before cause i was strategic. Eh..idk what to do..i refuse to let go of my anger towards nate. I can. But no lesson will be taught. I can be nice to him, this has been proven. Is it hard? of course. but i can be done. and if i can do it then that means i can just overall let it go. Deep down, i find these dremas very thrilling though. It challenges my instinct and puts everything i have on the line. This is the part of me that existed a long time ago.

After i woke up from the dream i found myself in curry and i jumped up out of sleep cause i saw my dead moms face...which was ehh...rather graphic cause her head was on top of my sisters hand..they were hugging before they died. My food was on the floor cause of my inital jump. I went to the bathroom and took a shit. how funny.