Mushaboom

I feel like something is pushing me away from everyone else. Id rather be to myself and im eager to kick people out that refuse to accept this. Actually, i notice that i push people away too..idk. I havent been to the gym in quite some time, its quite depressing. I also haven't been home in a while. What am i doing wth my life? this vacation sucks. I want to just dive into a bunch of studies. Theres nothing new, same stuff different day but sometimes its possible to have too much of a good thing. This is a case of too much relaxation.

Because of my relaxed yet easily agitated nature, ive become more of a pothead. lol. I actually bought for the first time.

Dan and nate are officially out of my life lol, nate doesn't even bother to be uncomfortable around me anymore, and i bought dan a 60 dollar water boiler because i finally gave into his water boiler spamming which pissed me off so much. Funny thing is now im going to spam him FORTY BUCKS! cause he owes me more than i owe him now. And technically i didnt even owe him in the first place. I didnt even touch his fuckin water boiler. I went to his house yday and i can tell there was tension, i dont think they liked me very much but idc it was business. I went to buy them a water boiler and buy pot. Technically, Dan was suppose to buy it for me but since he left he owes me now. ehh. Im annoyed right now, by dan. He's my next target. I guess you can say i like to be angry.

I went to visit uma finally last weekend and it was nothing but fun. I got a chance to actually follow two casual days with my fellow uma folk. Sometimes, thats better than any party :]. I met a guy named steven and he seems really chill. I really banged myself up longboarding the last night i stayed there, but now im fine. I took off my fourth change of bandage and decided it healed enough to just leave it open to heal faster. Ill have a dipple on my leg where i cut out my flesh though but its cool.

Idk, my mood has pretty much been: Not in the mood. Especially after i got back from UMA

Something is also keeping me away from home, i noticed that i dont feel comfortable going home unless im comfortable outside. Cause at home its quite uncomfortable.

*shrugs* everythings blah..good news is i went to the doctors and the doctor said my BMI (body mass index) is Perfect. since im 5'7, my bmi should be ranging from 19-24 (or something like that) and im in between 21-22 so im super healthy. I look skinny though.

Btw when i was high at uma, something stuck in my head. I saw a gothic like guy smoking a cig. He looked like the typical emo loner that came form a high class private school. Very to himself and just..dark. After he finished his cig, he put it out on the floor. Then he went through his pockets and in a very casual manner, brought out a few coins and flicked one onto the floor where he put out his smoke. It seemed very symbolic and because of his actions, i wanted to start a conversation with him cause he seemed like a very interesting and introverted character but i held myself back. Curious as i saw him take out another smoke and throw another coin on the floor.

There are alot of other things i want to type about but idk, i feel annoyed just thinking about it soo

What am i becoming? lets hope my anger subsides.