Of Visions and Sounds

I honestly believe himym, for the last two seasons have narrated my life almost on point every time i watched it. Idk either be barney or ted in every instance. Barney being the sensitive and lost but player or ted the awkward but clever forever alone guy. Maybe for once himym caught up and is actually ahead. I hope. I figured out the reason why lbg acted so strange these past few days...she actually found a new boyfriend. No sweat i told you i was over it but it just so happens in the show the same thing happened to ted. Someone that was meant for him actually wasnt and he walks outside and its raining, thats when new beginnings happen haha. Im not putting anyone on a pedistal nor am i feinding to find someone new cause i could honestly care less. But something about my wanting to watch himym and the episode relating perfectly just lines up so well...maybe this time im getting a clear omen. A omen in itself is very exciting, because i do believe in unspoken worldly hints as well as miracles. I walked outside just now as well, and it was raining. Little things, at least in my life, arent coincidence, they never are.

Let me put it this way, if anything happens...i told you so. Thats all. Even if nothing happens so what? i feel good right now, i feel productive.

Most is thanks to me wearing a suit waking up beside a girl and the music i listen to. Have i ever done a post on music? i know ive done many blogpost about music but ive never isolated music, and spoke about it in a way that it intertwines with my life.

I started off listening to bands such as 50 cent and Eminem and linkin park. That was in 6th-7th grade. By 8th grade I was listening to rock. Once i high school i dropped all rap music and switched to rock. Thats when i found Atreyu and Avenged Sevenfold, My first two metal bands ever in 9th grade. From 9th grade to 10th grade i got very deep into metal and emo music. Saosin, underoath, and first to last, my chemical romance. By the middle of 9th grade i dove head first into slipknot and was obsessed with them for a whole year maybe more. They were the only thing angry enough to contain my anger and i pretty much listened to them all day aside from the occassional atreyu. I still dabbed in emo music but it was dropped by 11th grade and i stopped listening to atreyu as well, well i always liked them actually but there was a really long period of time i didnt listen to them for. In 11th grade i got into cradle of filth and listened to them for a half year and moving to older tracks. I was listening to older bands such as metallica, iron maiden, guns and roses and many glam rock bands by senior year. I also started getting into slow music. In senior year i began listening to more instrumental music such as steve vai and led zepplin and i was already listening to some indie music. I think my first indie band was the strokes. In freshman i was completely indie. I listened to the strokes, and then i found many other bands including interpol. I listened to lame indie music for a good year..i mean it took a good year and some just to overplay strokes. Sophmore year i began to get back into hiphop and dubstep came out! i was listening to alot more. now its the third year and i also found dream theater and many other progressive songs. Now im listening to everything, i was blasting lil wayne not two seconds ago, along with regge and joe satriani. So many different genres!

I always said i wish i could properly make a timeline of the music i listen to because that would illustrate my life so nicely. If i just simply kept a journal of the date and the name of the song i most enjoyed throughout the years i could read the lyrics and it would tell my life story, and it would be a sad one. Well ive been dragging this post on for far too long so ttyl!

Edit:

I remembered that actually listing the stages of music i went through wasnt my goal for the blogpost, and i now remember what i really want to say. haha i screwed up cause its been really hard for me to blog and many times just to give myself a break ill change the tab and leave the blogpost undone for hours or even days, it really messed up my train of thought.

I meant to go about sounds in a more definitive way. Instead of just throwing out band names, which honestly aside from atreyu and the strokes, mean nothing to me. Its a matter of how all these bands helped me on a more genre-related level. I was very angry, causing me to listen to slipknot. After slipknot was many other metal bands as well. Metal is a huge part of my life. Its beautiful but its chaotic, like the flow of yang chi. If you FEEL the instrumentals of the most angry bands like early slipknot Youll understand the complete chaos but melody that lies behind it. Like Joe Satriani's mind storm. You could catagorize him as a metal guitarist and its absolutely amazing. After metal came a more smooth period of my life, Because i didnt know who i was so it was just like what indie music is like, calming but upbeat and still, subliminally uplifting.

Why is music so important to me though? This question baffled even old thomas, which wanted to remove music as well from my life because he was so obsessed with the idea of being free. That goes into a completely different part of my past i could write PAGES on but only lasted about a month after i lost my memory. but i wanted to release myself of the enjoyment of music because old self believed that It became my religion, no longer was i looking for the music but the music was looking for me. Id just so happen to find new bands at the end of a chapter in my life that matched the changes perfectly. I felt as if i was falling back on music and i so no basis to that. There is no reason why man should love music so much, because you can relate? By the time i lost my memory i was pure atheist and i was damned if i recieved any support whatsoever but unexplained patterns. Id rather go insane than live to see music become what i believe in when all else fails. I stopped myself and glad i did because now i really enjoy the music i listen to, and im so fucking grateful for it.

My philosophical self still cannot grasp the understanding of WHY, WHY does a song i can relate to make my heart feel warmer than any female has? why do i listen to the same songs OVER AND OVER for YEARS. I still listen to Atreyu! its been 7 years. Aside from one album i listen to all their music and they made a BEST OF ATREYU album just to thank the fans before they tried selling out! what a amazing band :] Actually the part about me "being free" i dont want to get too deep into it but i feel like atreyu understood me COMPLETELY Listen to Atreyu- Creature and if you can actually say you can even decipher it then good for you, you understand me haha good luck reading the lyrics and if you can understand Creature then move to tracks from Atreyu like Dilated. Great track. But the metal music helps distract me from my thoughts. And the indie music coaxs it, on a grand scale.

Dan, you go for lGB. Theyre building a great relationship and she said shes not coming to boston to rock climb with me but shes going to a pi party and beerfest instead. You know what thats fine. FUCK HER. shes gunna go for dan then she doesnt know the bro code so shes not worthy for me anyways. Dans driving up to amherst this weekend, im not going. I just want to see if this works out because if it does then great, literally and figuratively, fuck her. It was always awkward with me and her. I lost my chance. I figured out in order to win over a girl you have to break the sexual tension immediately. Thats why i fucked up with every girl except my new cuddle buddy and the others ive been with. Thats the difference. I get it now. fuck you. seriously. *flips table* im done. im going to drink it up this weekend and have fun with Chris and doug and my neu group cause i know theyre here for me. Dan is too but like what i wasnt, hes an opportunist. My heart hurts, but im a changed man no longer will females hurt me..ever again. I fucking swear of it, and i know becareful of what you wish for and ive taken many consequences but id be damned if i ever get fucked over again. i just went all out on dans wall and made a indent..felt great. my knucle, being permanently bruised, actually doesnt feel a thing...getting trashed tonight