Duck Tie and the domino effect

surprisingly, everything turned out better than expected, the night after I wrote the last post.uhhh lets see i think i smoked cause i remember i kept my word and i remember the only time i did smoke in the past several weeks was at uma so lets talk about the uma trip.

Dan ended up going to uma for the weekend and i decided to tag along cause i thought it would be a chance to see lgb, i didnt see her that whole weekend so i said fuck it and that was the end of the lgb chapter...for me. What did i do there? i saw baba and jahirul! two of my bros from back in freshman year when i was in foundation year, really cool guys now but all they do is drink and smoke haha i also met their friends uhh mike, wongel, and uhh..i think someone else but they were cool too, i went to the gym and worked out with them made my own fun and came back.

The week after i continued to be my same lazy self for the most part im always at dans now, if not im at Lins. Laurens starting to really come into my head because i feel like this is the longest weve ever stopped talking...we saw each other for no more than 15 minutes and it was in the dining hall...I decided to stay in the dining hall and wait for her so that we can eat together but the conversation was soo dry and surfacey compared to the conversations we should have, whats going on in your head lauren? At this point im as worried for our friendship as i am for my sanity. Thats a lot.

So lets get back to the smoking part because i was really planning to jump in a hole and say "goodbye cruel world!" What was i welcomed by? A pleasant fuzzy feeling many would call hope. Idk where it came from but when i went under that night feeling...happy. apparently i held out jsut long enough for myself to fight it and i didnt even realize it. Im honestly glad that that turned out that way because i wouldnt know where the fuck id be right now if that didnt happen. So Thanks to that i also got back my power of speech slightly. I think too much about the substance of the conversation, i should think more about the response, thats why ive been lacking in my communication skills. Go with the flow thomas. I still have this weird thing where i have the BEST conversation for about 42 hours max then i run out of things to say but at least i have the best 42 hour conversations! like the BEST. Theres so much to talk about that its freakin awesome.

This really helped in chicago when i was meeting a fuckton of new people and i honestly had such a big ego when i went to chicago, maybe it was because i sat in the car for 16 fuckin hours next to two couples and i was ready to just unleash that part of me that i had to confine for 16 hours haha. The girls in chicago are so different from girls in boston, i feel like my skill set is so amazing compared to if i was to meet a girl in boston. Girls there are fascinated by guys that can ballroom, fix computers, be funny and idk girls here are too smart(for their own good) and too prude like to appreciate my skill set so i felt like my ego was being fed there. haha. Its super fobby in chicago so all they do is karaoke, drink and smoke. They dont need to know about how to hold their liqour or how to idk, just do the simpliest communication skills because they are so used to being around friendly people! and thats great cause it was a very friendly place. Here its like, i actually feeling like im fuckin hitting on girls and its like pulling teeth trying to strike a fuckin conversation.

Also hanging out with sonny and dan together really helped me solidify my douchebag vibe and put on my A game. I actually was the type of person i always wanted to be in chicago. The only reason why im not that person in boston is because of all the stress from family, friends, work and school here. Without any of that shit im a very chill laid back guy thats very straight forward and douchebaggy but hyper and ready for an adventure at the same time, very interesting blend.

Unlike my group at northeastern where everyone is too friendly the group of dan sonny hanh(son's girl) and lisa (dans girl for chicago) i feel their ego pushing and thats fucking awesome cause i naturally have a big ego too and i just need people there to match it so that i can push back, the group dynamic i must say is a keeper for me. ITs not a jocky ego push but its just a bossy masculine push. I knew after the 16 hour drive that i was with working men that were holding their own shit and that empowered me. Hanging out with sonny definitely made me feel as if woman are second and i have priorities before i talk to them and thats the bottom line. I need to feel that because of all the fuckin ive been in due to girls. You empower yourself then you reward yourself with a bitch. Im sorry but thats the hard truth to me, and with that mindset ill get the girls i want because honestly thats what girls want to fucking feel like. They dont want a guy that is on their level they want a guy that is above them. Men shouldnt need girls, We have too much other shit to worry about, hell when we meet a girl worth our time we have to spend time getting you to like us. You clearly dont know what you want so we have to show you and that takes time, money, and effort, all of which should be given at a minimum because we have other shit to do and men dont have time for girls that dont put in their fuckin 50%. All girls have to do is respond, just...RESPOND. Men have to think of what to say and steer the conversation.

Id say aside from learning that after the weekend in chicago, another thing i learned is that woman dont have a type, show them you have priorities and you are their type. All a woman is looking for is a manly man that can treat them right. IF anything fucks up from point a-B thats because the guy played the game wrong. Do you see how im demoralizing woman?...you girls really dont know what the fuck youre doing in life, thats why girls are either prudes, easy, or crazy. Prude being you just ignore them and theyll come to you...easy being you just give them attention and theyll come to you, and crazy being a guy before you did that and threw her head around like a ragdoll because girls dont know what they want! So now theyre bipolar, clingy, or loves drama because thats whats shes used to being around. Thats in the guys favor but at the same time guys, get to know the game. Its much harder in boston because there are so many prudes and they are prudes because they dont want you to know whether or not they are worth your time. The most they figured out is that if a guy comes for her then she can figure out whether or not hes her type and anaylze and shit but once a guy does the same thing to her then she goes nuts. haha Its not the same thing because shes just winging it and the guy has priorites and other shit to do. Theres a difference ;P. PRIORITES PRIORITES PRIORITES. A guy that has priorites knows what he wants in education and in life and in relationships. and let me tell you, a girl is NEVERR that priority because they dont know what they want why should it be your priority to go out your way to show them? Because you like them? Luckily for me ive stopped liking girls after theresa :P haha Even when i did like theresa its like...i got priorites you either take it or you dont. She for some reason kept playing me and up to this day i dont know what she wants but i shoulda just cut it off because she was not worth my time.

Duck tie! I bought a ducktie in chicago to commemorate my douchebagness haha I felt like i was barney stinson in chicago because all these girls were so easy XD. I didnt go for any of them though cause honestly i like girls that are a challenge, that have smarts and know what their doing. That have priorities of their own. Its super sexy for me and i still dont quite now im im ever going to catch one but hey you know, thats for the future after i have a job related to my field, im moving forward in my education and have a car. Without those three theres no point in thinking about that shit.

Which is why i have lin, which seems to be a very stable thing for me right now. Were still in an open relationship but were getting very comfortable with each other. She appreciates everything about me, my spastic ways, my body, my thoughts, my friends, my MUSIC, and my penis. Me gusta. Lol

Anywho, enough about lin, Lets talk about the domino effect. I stopped talking to lgb and dan started talking to her right? well He friendzoned her hard by telling her he was with 18 girls in the past 2 and a half months. Then he hooked up with lgb's best friend then he persuades lgbs sister to come to chicago with us. HAHA BOOSH LGB you dun got SAWUCED. Lgb, fuck it her name is lori. Lori got so heated when she started seeing the pictures of chicago. At first everyone was like, okay shes just looking out for her sister thats fine w/e but then dan heard that lori started bitching her sister out like i cant believe you lied to me this and that were never talking again. Me dan and sonny go like..woah >.> thats not sibling love..thats straight jealousy LOL *double highfive dan* unfortunately for dan, lori made it a living fucking hell for him to like her sister and now they are collapsing. They were so nice together in chicago too, i was glad to be theyre fifth wheel because they were so awesome together, like...shit. Fuckin lori. thats another case of CRAZY. Cause now she wont talk to me or dan. Actually she talked to me today cause i called her but then she got super mad cause i was calling about her sister and dan and why she was fuckin shit up. LOL Attention whore much? damn.

Ive been judging her so hard ever since she ditched me from rockclimbing. She fuckin ditches me then brings dan to party with her the same fuckin weekend. HES MY ROOMMATE YOU PRUDE. WHO DOES THAT? lol she says to her sister when were in the car coming back to boston i quote "Are you in chicago with dan?...I dont care who you hang out with stay the fuck away from dan" It was more aggressive than that too. so me and dan are like..holy shit at first. Crazy bitch! haha im sorry this whole domino effect is all too amusing to me even though its hurting dan cause damn, these girls are dumb. Theyre fighting over the same guy and the older sister is too bitter to even let her sister enjoy life, damn thats fucked up. Even for me if dan actually went for lori i would have grit my teeth and been like you go for it bro dont mind me, and id get over it. Cause i would, i cant stop my bro from being happy. So much for girl code huh? Another reason why Guys should never trust a girl!

I have alot of bitterness towards females right now as you can tell from this post because honestly, girls are such....materialistic things. Hell its the worse mataterial item id rather invest in a ps3 or something. For woman, Its rare to find the one you want and when you do you cant have it and if you have it then theyre expensive and the take time money and patience they bitch cry and well..moan. But thats the only good thing about them i guess, im better off investing in a girl like LIN, especially in college. shes down to earth shes understanding and she doesnt bitch! Theres no need for arguements because were not together and we just enjoy each others company. How amazing is that? haha

Btw lauren, you and monica and several others are an exception to this post, Dont be a part of it. How to be a part of it? you act like youre not on my level. I will always treat my closest equal to me but the more you ignore me the more you let me tickle the idea that okay, i dont need you in my life..but i want you to be a part of it, which is scaring me. In this world, men and woman cannot coexist peacefully. There will forever be sexual tension. Its a matter of how you go about that sexual tension. Accept it and be close as fuck or acknowledge it back down and ill begin the chase. Because humans are animals too! and fuck, if girls like monica or lauren were to act like they were ready for the chase, girls ive known for more than 7 years. You know im going to appreciate that and go for it.

As for every other part of my life right now? complete and utter shit. I owe so much money to people and im so far behind academically. Idk if i even remember how to fuckin study anymore..Not like i ever did but i did have the motivation to once upon a time..