change

So that last blog, im not even going to facepalm for cause i mean it really did get bad but im better now, idk i feel like i need a change of friends. Ive come to the conclusion that my dislike for smoking with kanji has caused me to dislike the group entirely and i have accidently outwardly expressed it. *shrugs* No big deal ill get over it I smoked again recently actually and got a good high because i was with melissa and lily billy :] very old smoking and just plan budd buddies haha but i wouldnt smoke with anyone from college ever again. Idk, honestly i feel like college isnt for me. Ive been thinking that as i go through the each day people on campus are so different from me. Theyre inspirations,motives and dreams. My motive is to live theirs is more well, knowledged based and yes im outwardly saying im freakin stupid haha. *shrugs* but school is a part of living i just see so much more to life that it has never been and probably would never be an independent priority.

I still need a breather but its hard when im partying like i used to. and working like i never did before. what else? idk big thomas has a girlfriend now i think...it makes me so happy for him but also it makes me depressed i havent really been paying much attention, I need to focus on myself right now.

I remember who i am i think. Im a social guy that just goes with the flow..thats my problem i rely too much on this flow of the day in which i dont control. *shrugs* im a kid. judge me. well goodnight, im exhausted and left a party early