Reactions of lust

Its only a lust, but i want to see how long i can hold onto feelings for someone. Ive never actually liked someone in a long time and apparently i can only feel it via lust now. It took me a week to realize that i liked this person too, causing a week of literal insomnia. How sad. But i want to see how far i would go.

Someone once told me love is a chemical that is a depressant in the body but since the body feels so depressed it doesnt know what to do with it so it grabs onto the closest thing that it knows which is the person it is thinking of. When the chemical wears off the body then craves to feel this intense depressant again therefore it refers to the person in which it thought of when it was so depressed. Its a fucking addictive chemical/drug that we label as love/lust. Someone also once told me any high you ever want can already be found in the body if one can control the flow. how else do you think the immune system fights unknown bacteria and maintain equilibrium between all the chemical reactions in the body. For every bateria there has to be a chemical which cancels it(and trust me there are alot of things that must exist in your body for it to actually work, alot of contradictions with reactions and anti-reactions and shit.. the body is much more complex than one can perceive

Ive established that like quiting anything addictive like cigs or cocaine, i quit love. My body cant handle the intensities of strong chemicals and it learned to fight it. Thats why i get more drunk off of 2 shots instead of 6 and more high off of 3 hits instead of 8. My body, like my personality...hates drama, absolutely hates dramatic abnormalities. In socialogical terms this would be known as drama. Intense and dramatic impacts on the body and mind...it cant deal with it and it does well to fight harder when it is push harder. Inertia.

She doesnt dress up anymore, she deleted you on skype, she doesnt update her facebook anymore (most likely moved to a new one), she never texts you, and shes never int he gameroom anymore. Shes trying to stay as far away as possible. dont do anything stupid thomas. Youre time has passed. Enjoy the friends you have. Just enjoy this high when it last because this might be the last it ever gets. *sigh* What a depressing story. When the time has come and i meet someone real, i wont be able to show for it.

This is a curse i knew existed ever since. I believe i wrote an old post about it haha. Expect many lonely post to come in the next month or so. I have foreshadowed my next chapter in my life this is considered the eye of the storm.