Psychedelic trance

Im so happy to find new music. Ive been trying to look for rock bands with suitable lyrics but found none and it bugs the crap out of me. Ever since Atreyu i could safely say that there is no music that completely bonded with me before i found psychedelic trance. Infected Mushrooms has become the new atreyu and that is a bold statement because im using this band to define me.

Im reading over my past blogs and thought wow, ive changed alot. It was not a year ago that i started feeling emotions again. Ive already naturally grew comfortable being vulnerable and doing very well just going with the flow. My coworker recently actually said i look sad and distraught. well i was cause of my academics but i mean, that detail alone would have blown my mind 2 years ago. Idk im just being grateful for everything in life.

Ive challenged myself alot ever since then and i continue to challeneg myself which is why i listen to psychedelic trance. It has no lyrics but that is why it is on a completely different level of awesome. Like dubstep and house music or what have you, you let yourself feel the music and its usually the feeling to dance because thats the purpose but psychedelic trance does more than that. Its rough, heavy and weird...idk it challenges my ears and i like it! haha ive been getting into psychedelic music recently because of that reason. But now that it has no lyrics i dont have to worry about whether or not the song is for me.

It was cause i was listening to it while smoking with my cousin cause she was going away for school that i just completely opened myself up, tried something new. She being a female of around my age, a distant family member and lesbian i found her thoughts very interesting. haha We bonded that night definitely. Ive also further challenged myself by letting a new friend of mine know my blog link blog, theresa. theresa, blog haha. There isnt much to it. I just type away.

Because of my opening up with my cousin and my strange music i had a mental breakdown that i still dont know what the cause of is..aside from the fact that i know exactly what im doing with my life and my cousin showed me im meant to be an engineer and yet, i dont feel like im moving in that direction what so ever. My cousin and i talked about how how things are built such as war heads. I recall telling her i wanted to work for rytheon. Its a engineering company which builds warheads. The warhead itself is a giant computer that takes all types of engineers and its the mechanical engineers that takes all that and makes a shape for it. And i went on and on about my future. idk..i feel confident that i will end up happy in ten years..because i know where im going but i dont think im very satisfied with where i am now. There is another cause to the breakdown, i know it because if it was my present that i was stressing over it would have cleared up by now because ive been pretty studious these past few days. well idk w/e. haha and yes, theresa knows of my blog because i was actually having a mental breakdown while talking to you..the conversation would have never went that way otherwise hahaha. Its funny cause she probably didnt notice a thing.

Uhh what else? well im loving my longboard. I've progressed on my board alot. I feel as if the only thing i have yet to learn is how to dance on my board and of course, slide but that requires sliding gloves lol. I have my gym clothes with me so im ready to go to the gym woot woot. havent been in days. Im restricting it to like...once a week cause Im just trying to turn body fat into muscle and thats all. Ill be more anal once i get my protein and actually eat. Hey i successfully meditated..twice these past two weeks. Lol The first time was an hour long...i literally snapped back and looked at objects as if they were a foreign thing and i was in a different world cause time warps so bad inside the head haha. The second time was not so successful i snapped out of it 30 mins in once again, confused at where i was then luckily i was at home cause i immediately passed out from 3am to 5pm hahaha it does drain alot of energy. Ive tried several times afterward but all were unsuccessful. im assuming because ive been really confused lately.

MONICA! how can i forget about that? we almost stopped being friends. and well, now its kinda awkward cause we still havent hung out after 3 weeks of fighting even though its technically patched up. It doesnt help how i called her immature haha. Seriously idk what was wrong with her..i think she started to like me more than a friend. uhh Test! i need to studyyy haha ttyl