We Hit Turbulence!

Id say this is the perfect title for what im going through right now. Im still partying and going buck wild This is a song lil jon made with several others cause he started taking extasy lolol. Went to a MIT party friday. It was absolutely CRAZY the whole floor in a dorm was a part of it. and it never gets busted because the party is registered with the university..The university pays for their insane amounts of alcohol and professors were walking around and not caring at all. It gets better. The theme was mardi gra so everyone was naked..at least partially. lol i went with chris and doug and three asian girls saw us in our outfits and was like..this cant do.and stripped us. lol i was down to my gym shorts for the entire night. and some girls were walking around COMPLETELY naked. lol It was more of a show than a party, it was ridiculous and fun none the less. Afterward, me chris and doug lit it up and i got pretty high. lol I woke up at nine the next morning with only 3 hours of sleep and i was still either high or drunk..or both lol. that class was fun. then i went to gym and right after the gym i went to dan's birthday party..

Fuck you Dan. He invited emily. By the time she got there i was already really baked and shitfaced cause we took shots every 10 mins and whenever someone new came..i think i took at least 12 shots that night.. and i was high too. Crazy shit. I've developed a new personality while partying which pretty much has me literally just sitting somewhere chilling....forever. It felt soo good to just..chill. Emily tried to make moves on me all night and she was completely C-blocking me...but its whatever because i was chillin hardcore. We moved the party to doreme..i was still thoroughly intoxicated but i acted completely fine the entire night. Only difference was i was veryy chill i loved it. So everyone was singing and i legit just sat there..drank more here and there like i was sitting at home drinking alone. lol

That night only got progressively worse because emily kept sticking to me...i just wanted to fuckin chill. get away from me. I ended up asking her for a word because she was getting annoying and i told her that she seriously needed to do her own thing and i do mine. I care for her but you accuse me of rape and fuck that shit..its over. Dont think we have a future. Well Funny thing is uhh..so things were patched she understood what i meant and well..that night got messy. Im seriously scared that shes prego. Im absolutely terrified. every day. until the middle of this month. I pulled out but i think the condom broke. so im glad i did my part but there were alot of bodily fluids exchanged. I was gungho about buying her a plan b the next morning but not only was i low on money but when i went to the pharmacy they said i needed a government issued id. Fml and emily was all dont worry about it. The minute i told her i didnt have money she was like well then dont worry about it. She is so fuckin naive like a dumb blonde. Anywho, I didnt sleep last night because of this...i have 2 more weeks to suffer and if not my entire life. Im going to stick to porn for the rest of my life.

Also there are ALOT of ANNOYING people in my life right now, that i dont get rid of and i should. Nate, Dan, Emily, Cung, sometimes Kevin, and several others i just met but the fact i hung out with them in the firt place drives me nuts. I live by the thought that everyone is unique and you should never be bothered or judged by someone that doesnt actually harm me in anyway. I see everyone as a opportunity to see another side of humanity. I used to have a much higher patience and open-mind for ignorant and closed-minded fucks, but times are different. I pulled kevin aside already because he's still a very reliable friend aside for some of his ego bloated moments. I WILL punch someone in the throat if they fuck with me. I never judge others and act genuinely to everyone and i expect the same.

I lost all respect for Nate but i still hang out with him. He rides on very thin ice. Last night he was SO. FUCKING. ANNOYING. I would have just punched him in his throat in curry student center He kept acting smart like a encyclopedia. I was hanging out with jessica hao. Which i havent done in forever and i just wanted to hang out with her and he was clearly trying to act like a asshole. I asked "For my research paper should i write about volcanoes, earthquakes, landslides, or plate tectonics?" and hes like. "you just said plate tectonics four times, volcanoes, earthquakes and landslides are all caused by or related to plate tectonics" and i was trying to act calm like okay, so im just asking for which i should write about and hes like well your writing is absolutely terrible so you better pick something that you are interested in. So i try to ignore his clear offense and say," yeah but i wanna know which topic i should write about through others option because if there is a majority of people that shift to one subject, im sure that implies that its interesting" and he cuts he short like "Youre write sucks so it doesnt matter" Then every two seconds he kept smacking close my laptop screen and unplugging or grabbing my wireless mouse. HE IS SO FUCKING IMMATURE. next time he does it i swear to god i will punch him and knock him out. You can thank these people when you see me and i act like im trying to start shit or really cranky. Im going to just cut all these people from my life. But i want to punch nate, dan, and kevin in the face hard at least once first..lol

So umm yeah all of this can be considered turbulance..something that bothers me and will bother me but bound to end in the near future...just come and go. but fuck uhh..what else?

I see myself being something like a boat. Water being negative stuff..and i can just sit right on top of it and not really get hurt. I support others and do my best to keep my friends dry. Some people abuse me though, like nate. and so now the boats leaking. Once a little anger gets in..then its all hell and it just slowly buids until i sink. And bust a cap in someones ass. lol well peace!