Pa Loong Soon (row dragon's boat)

This blog post has been postponed a very long time but its better late than never right? sixteen days into my trip to china and its alot of fun. The only thing that screws it up (and it has managed to screw it up so much that i prefer boston more) is the lack of freedom and excessive contact with family. The bond between my sister and i and my mother and i have strengthened a hundred fold while my relationship with my dad has done nothing but crumble. Everything that comes out of his mouth is beginning to sicken me and i wanna seriously punch him in the face sometimes.

The reason why this post is about dragon boats is because in Guangzhou they have a festival that has canoes holding around 80 people racing. This is probably as important as our christmas and new years combined. Everyone is into it and its a time of happiness and celebration. Happiness is the key word. Nothing can better describe the feeling of happiness than when everyonee i mean, thousands of peopl, gather in a merry nature and cheer for these men/woman which indulge in this very strenuous sport.

It was due to this event and being exposed to so many elderly that i realized that i have to find happiness ASAP. I realized how important happiness is to having a long healthy life. My grandfather is 95 and he is the most adorable old man ive ever met, and respectable. I say adorable because hes a child at heart because of the way he plays, and jokes, hes always smiling naively and yet you can see the hardships hes gone experienced through his eyes, words, and old callous hands. He has found eternal happiness and is a completely and utterly self-less person. This is something i realized and been trying to teach myself cause i realized how selflessness makes finding happiness stupidly easier. But in order to be completely selfless you must already have everything you ever want. Just by being exposed to my grandfather again, he has taught me so much and i will forever miss him when i leave china, i fuckin love that guy. lol

Which brings me to babies, since i was talking about elderly. lol. I realized ive changed ALOT. My uncle has a new baby and well, i realized i dont hate babies. Thats a very big deal because i used to hate babies, never wanted one and i vowed to myself that if i loved my child i would not bring it into this forsaken world. Idk why i actually hated them, but i did actually feel remorse towards them..maybe its cause of their naive nature..idk. Times have changed. I really like babies. I find their curiousity original and their innocence something special. I still prefer old people though cause old people dont fret and carry so much more wisdom, even though they act the same. lol. Maybe ill have a kid in the future, but i realize that i am in NO state to get into a relationship, even though my loneliness continues to torment me. Interpol- "If time is my vessel, then learning to love may be my way back to sea"

Im trying to avoid the topic of my dad until the end because it pisses me off that much that i dont want to ruin this post, besides my relationship with him is so unhealthy i want to show how much it is affecting me by placing a bunch of positive thoughts before it. umm Eating! dude, ive been eating a shit ton lol unfortunately due to my fast metabolism i notice the fat going into my torso and my torso has grown quite a bit along with my thighs cause they are muscles i use. But my arms are getting skinnier by the day cause im not using the muscles in them so the fat just escapes from sweat and all the walking, wasted. im excited to hit the gym when i get back.

Well i was suppose to write down alot of stuff for this blog but i didnt and i dont quite remember...there was a lot more behind the dragon boats... so im just going to skip to my dad. My mom has annoyed me on the trip cause of her stupidity. she is so stupid, sorry mom but seriously she can not walk on her own two feet cause everything she does is wrong and i feel like she doesnt think. Like i was suppose to get my hair cut and instead of going to the many salons in the village that fob up guys my age and make crazy young hairstyles, she takes me to this worn down place for old people and in a village you can imagine the worse. This was after we walked WAYYY too much that day and everyone, including her, was really tired and we got off like..three bus stops early because of the location of the barber shop. the distance between a bus stop is no joke in china >.> haha from one bus stop to the other is probably equivalent to literally...8-10 boston busstops easily. China is too big for such frequent stops and one bus ride can last up to two hours and we'd still be in the same city. But i love her, shes treated me with nothing less than respect and a mothers love. I slap her after every so often when she illustrates her slowness but i laugh when i do so cause thats who she is and i love her for it cause she treats everyone the way she wants to be treated. My sister and i have gotten into several silent fights early in the trip but talked all them out and yes, i am slightly addicted to smoking so i did have a short temper early on in the trip but we talked about that and weve been bonding more and more. I tell her more then i already tell her and i tell her everything.
My DAD on the other hand has been ruining the trip and causing me to wish i was back at home. He's completely arrogant, rude, disrespectful and destroys any hope of a FAMILY trip. I noticed he has this constant better-than-everyone-else attitude. He literally ignores people when they feel like they arent worth his time. You know how much i HATE it when people ignore me. well, he was ignoring me and just people in general that bugged him. Fuckin man up the silent treatment is immature and rude. He does it to my mother constantly and to people that are on the street. People on the streets of china are very aggressive with selling products and they will literally get in your face trying to sell it. instead of saying no thanks and letting them walk away he gives the most rude ignoring attitude. idk who it is DONT IGNORE PEOPLE and the way he does it makes it seem like he thinks hes bigger than them. Hes also been playing favorites HARDCORE this entire trip. My dad will go out of his way to buy my sister small things like icecream, souvenirs, and food. Everytime he needs an opinion or a helping hand he would ask laurie. All i want is a watch, cause there is no way to fucking tell the time in china except the watch on dads wrist and a pair of jeans cause they are cheap and if i brought them back to the states they would look reallly nice, straight up designer highclass, and sunglasses. Especially the sunglasses cause i hate the sun. i hate it and i was so gungho about finding a pair but gave up cause of my dad's unwillingness to buy anything for me. As for laurie shes gotten everything shes wanted and their not even very useable. She got chinese fans, a jade bacelet, food or icecrem whenever she wanted it and with a smile, pocket mirror, deck of cards, and this toy thingy. Dude seriously? okay hes playing favorites i dont care i can get this shit back in the states but then hes RUDE too. Everytime i meet someone new i put my best foot forward and my manners are on top. If i got a compliment like, youre son has such a strong build, hes very healthy (im considered tall and big in my village) he'd insult me by yelling at me in the same time like:" yeah right, hes actually suppose to be alot bigger but he doesnt eat anything at home." That is very fucking rude, i never seen this person and im trying to give myself and you a good image by having very good manners and youre going to fuckin step on me like that?
Btw insults about my size is his new way of poking my buttons. Before it was him telling me to join the military, or drop or of school and pick up his cleaning business, or telling me "like mother like son" (this was a direct offense to both mom and i because he hated momy and hed say that statement whenever he wanted to comment on mom's stupidity) I fuckin tore him to shreds for that one.
Anyways if its a compliment he'll make it an insult. and of course if it was an insult he would further it into a conversation. or a statement hell make it an insult and there was one time he really, i wanted to pounce on him. You know asian adults they tell the kids do well in school, dont be lazy and stay healthy. Well my aunt just finished kinda insulting my sister and i saw him get very flustered and when my aunt said to me, "how are you doing? you've gotten so big! (dad grumbles) make sure you listen to your parents and do well in school, dont be lazy!" My dad put in his two cents like "he is really lazy, thats for sure." B-I-T-C-H. Im sorrryy can you say that again with my fist in your mouth? I spit on him. Yeah he goes to everyone since i eat so much here he tells them i dont understand why he eats so much here cause he eats so little in boston he should be bigger. Shut. The fuck. UP. This is a dinner table with elders and cousins and he starts a conversation with that. OH and it took several meals for him to even acknowledge that i was even eating alot. First several of times i was eating like..5 bowls of rice each meal and he was saying my son eats so little hes a fuckin twig whenever someone commented on my build.
He also has a very ill temper that has even been driving my sister nuts. My dad is terrible at planning stuff and at least 5 days of the first two weeks in china had us leaving the house walking in circles. And like today, when someone gives him the smallest chance of blaming the time spent on anyone else but him he rashes like a madman. This tends to happen to my mother. Mostly when she asks nicely to go to the bathroom. and he has this annoying habit of looking "intimitating" and grumbling profanity when he gets angry like hes ready to lash. Honestly, it was intimitating when i was little but now i want to punch him in the face whenever he grumbles cause he looses his temper SO easily and its like a temper tantrum cause he would never blame himself. Oh for example today we were trying to get back to the tourbus and i thought we knew where we were going to i wa following him and he turns around like..shit i think the bus was back there. and i respond saying. Oh yeah I saw the tour guide wondering around on the phone back there. We had a free hour so the guide gets to do their thing and we meet them back up at a certain place. he suddenly goes in a fury like Why didnt you tell me?! grumbles grumbles you knew we were on a time restraint. We were the first to get to the bus and actually we had to wait another 10 mins cause the tourguide nor the bus driver was ready. Fuckin retard. and all he did was yell and grumble the entire walk back. This is how its been the whole trip. We follow him because hes the only one that can speak fluent maderain. Yeah, his biasness...temper and disrespect has flew off the charts. I literally feel like a shadow around him just following cause he does not acknowledge me. I continue to try my hardest..but only when im in a good mood. I cant wait until i move out.

Theres alot more to be said about china but its 1:19 and i got to wake up at 6 sooo ttyl!

P.s. I miss Beijing lol