Publish it

Without much left to say on my online blog, i want to end it on a friendly note. Something to wrap things up you know? Maybe the father figure i strive to become does not include the indulgence of a blog, who knows an quite frankly who cares?

I use to have it all wrong, I thought as long as i could make a big enough statement in a small enough period of time i can influence any individual, like an equation. I honestly and sincerely believed that. Even though people told me society this society that and that i was considered awkward, i didnt care but now i realize i dont need to change and comform, i just need to make my strong impressions comfortable with the help of confidence. After finding my girl, I realized in order to make a difference i have to listen  first, then make a statement. Such basics to some like ah DAHH and even me im like uhh DAHH when i read it but honestly, men have egos and its true it clouds judgement and predictions which are necessary at times. This is the first step to the realization that my blog has lost its present value. Like a wise man once said, "There are 2 rules for success, the first rule is you never tell everything you know an the second rule is..."

I will continue to forever hold a journal in my bag for my most inspirational moments but i think this is the stage after R0SE5's and beyond trying to figure out the truthofkings. Because me being the king understood the greatest rules of all time.

Happiness really isnt far away at all, its everywhere once you make yourself happy. Because you being happy means that you are surrounded by things that make you happy and those happy things are going to show you more things that make you happy. Sure its going to crash and burn sometimes but as long as you love yourself before you love another and keep at that pace and move outward, then things will work out for you and everything you intend to achieve.

Im just happy, im still together with my chicago girl..not quite sure if i want to end my last online-blogpost talking about girls haha but were going stronger than ever now 4 months and not even official yet but were together. Such an unhealthy relationship but what can you do about it? haha i cant find any better so hell! im more than satisfied. There was one girl though..the one that inspired me to write this post..we were drunk at a party and she spoke as if she was the one that wrote all my blogposts. she understands exactly where i come from philosophically and the strains i went through in R0SE5...unfortunately she was white an literally up and hooked up with someone else right at the party, true story. But i was never MOVED in such a way by a conversation before. Hey i texted her afterward like yeah wassup but she threw alot of conversation enders so im assuming shed rather go for a white guy with a bruins tattoo on his arm than me...what a dbag. haha. But thats how my life is! and i learned to accept it! and i love it! i get thrown the most weirdest and craziest curve balls and i learn to just absorb the best from them..me and her were speaking in our own language at the party.

We were picking apart everything in our lives that other people jsut do not understand or see because theyve nver meditated and no matter what happens we see these patterns and these ideas and me and this girl were like We are evolved forms! because animals will naturally become more in tune with our environment and surroundings. We were blasted through conversation about life, love, meditation, smoking, truamas, and the meaning of understanding i honestly felt like a hippy but i am kinda hippy inside too.

I think the only thing that will contine to baffle me hard when i leave this blog and what i can always rant about is my race. Countless times have i looked in the mirror, expecting to see something else, or look at my arm and expect to see something else but I'm Asian. I dont think racially but the reason why ive been having so many problems in the past is honestly because of the culturally clash when it comes to asians in america. I feel like hispanics and Blacks have been fully accepted or at least found its own place in society but asians are everywhere from the most highclass to the projects and the ghettos. The view on asians in boston is very ignorant and were still seen as foreign and honestly, that doesnt bug me on bit. Cause im weird as fuck anyways so great! perfect! im right where im suppose to be. But the problem is i act weird but 99% of my thoughts i turn into words BLOWS peoples mind and honestly i think people would expect it if i was black, because i do have some of that aggressive shady aura to my walk, or people would think of me as hispanic because im intune with my sexual side and i can get pretty loud, i speak as if my penis is my mind and i make sure people are comfortable with that and i know theres a time and place. People would most of all, expect my words be be of a white man, weird and..i feel like the mindsets of a caucasian male is the most diversified of all, that but does not mean the spectrum of diversity means they are anymore mature or intellectual than any other race. Asians, idk maybe for some odd reason im re-encountering an identity crisis that involves race but ive surprised myself one too many times with my skin color, its as if im changing too fast mentally to keep in mind where i came from. I do find myself wishing i was caucasian at time though, it would make my personality so much easier to digest. That is just deeep deeep in my thoughts, like if you were to scrap the bottom of the carton of icecream thats what youd find. Doesnt bother me, im asian, so what? ahha but yeah..

There was an incident yesterday that involved racial discrimination but lets not get into that.

Anywho. Comment if you want me to post more and if your interested in my life. haha id be honored because i mean, in the en i do realized i was posting my entire life to an online page. I didnt notice the depth of that til now. haha but yeah..uh...PEACE!