Best of two worlds

Today was indeed a good day. I actually hate my hyper side. It annoys me that i cant be comfortable around large groups of people without being just loling and talking to everyonee. I like being social. I still do. But everytime you see me hyper id prefer not to be. I like to be laid back to have a conversation to only the people having a conversation with me. I would introduce myself and be like hey you know. but i kick myself when i clearly am acting like a fuckin spaz. This is the deep truth. But its the side of me that naturally follows my "i dont give a fuck about anyones thoughts, im awesome" idea. Today im happy with myself just cause i met alot of people and was able to talk about just the same amount of random stuff but while being laid back and just..mature. I like being more mature. The mood i have right now i want to make it my real personality. I have the perfect blend of myself time while talking with someone and its easy to go into meditation in this mood. Also, im not thinking about much besides what i want. its just veryy chill. Uhh i have alot of past events to talk about but lets not get into them. its in the past and i try to keep away from that now when writing in my blog XD Yeah..i work at A&F now! yay me my first earned job. like i had to fill out a application and do good in the interview and i did it. Unfortunately i havent recieved many hours yet but hopefully ill will the manager's favor and ill be a consistent employee. Whats on my mind? nothing. It feels good :]. When i smoked it felt like nothing existed except the soft crackling of the cig when i inhaled and the slow moving cloud in front of me as i slowly exhale. Im in my own world and not. This is the balance ive been looking for. I hope my mood doesnt break when i get home. It always does.